Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 22,850 gp; Weight —
This set of perfect dentures are all that remain of a long-dead noble, the sophisticated craftsmanship rare even among enchanted items. Only the wealthiest would wear such ostentatious golden dentures to show their opulence to friends and rivals alike.
The owner of a set of Golden Dentures of the Noble receives a +9 competence bonus to Knowledge (history) checks, but only for subjects and questions pertaining to the distant past (typically between 500 to 1000 years ago but ultimately determined by your campaign setting). Additionally up to three times per day as a standard action the owner may command the Golden Dentures of the Noble to fly towards a target, delivering a charging slam attack to one creature within 30 feet. The item has an attack bonus of +11 and on a successful hit deals 3d6+9 damage, swiftly returning to the owner after the attack (whether successful or not) to be caught as a free action at the beginning of that character’s next turn (in the event that the owner is unable to do so, they return to the square they were thrown from). Golden Dentures of the Noble have an Armor Class of 16, hardness 8 and 15 hit points should they be attacked by a readied opponent or struck by a provoked attack of opportunity (they cannot be disarmed, grappled, sundered or tripped). If shattered by an attack, twenty four hours later the collected pieces reform into the same perfect dental apparatus.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, gust of wind, speak with dead; Cost 11,425 gp (457 xp)
History A character that makes a Knowledge (nobility) check to learn about the item identifies the following fragments of lore:
DC 15 A thousand years ago the Grand Emir Hakim Al Razhan ordered his most talented artisans to create something truly unique to flaunt his wealth and power. They brought him their creations one after another; rings, necklaces, and clothes bedecked with gems, but none of them pleased Hakim. He ordered the craftsmen of the rejected proposals beheaded, their bodies destined to burn. The legends tell of a mighty pyre building as the artisans tried in vain to please their master until finally an apprentice stepped forward and held aloft a set of dentures made of gold; these were truly unique and the Grand Emir was pleased. He put them on display in his throne room, proudly parading his wealth to all. Several other nobles had their own versions made but none of them dared outdo the original design until after Al Razhan’s death many years later. It is these copies that occasionally show up in marketplaces throughout the world; the first set of Golden Dentures of the Noble have been lost to time.
DC 20 In the autumn of Al Razhan’s life he suffered the maladies associated with old age and to remedy the loss of his teeth he had the golden dentures magically fused to his jaw. The Grand Emir is often credited for the invention of the expression, “the golden smile of misery,” as his subjects did little but suffer in toil under the glittering grin of the immoral noble. His last years were spent researching how to prolong life and after decades of investigations Hakim determined that bargaining was the ticket; he would negotiate with entities from beyond time and space to gain immortality. During the ritual several forbidden texts were read aloud from behind the safety of protective wards (cast by his high circle of court wizards); many names which had been unspoken for countless centuries were uttered again, some for the first time by a human tongue. At the height of the ritual, something went wrong; a mispronounced word, a misaligned rune – no one can be sure. What is known is that the vengeful spirits of the executed artisans from decades ago descended upon Al Razhan and his mages, tearing them to pieces in a display of righteous fury from beyond the grave. When they retreated to their dark realms, nothing of the Grand Emir or his wizards remained but the Golden Dentures of the Noble, which were left laying innocuously at the site of the botched ritual.
DC 25 The artisan apprentice is not named in any contemporary sources but after Al Razhan’s death an anonymous bard composed the Ballad of the Golden Smile; it claims that the apprentice was not an artisan, but instead a sorcerer and the brother of an executed craftsman. Lacking the power to avenge his brother, he instead wove discreet spells into the original Golden Dentures of the Noble and these were the true source of Grand Emir Hakim Al Razhan’s doom.
Created by Brian Wiborg Mønster
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2 thoughts on “Golden Dentures of the Noble”
I could also see a medieval gangsta wearing a nice pair of these ^^ But seriously this is a great little item, lots of lore to back it up, a bit of humor and some nice effects, bravo Brian Wiborg Mønster 🙂
While I’m not old enough for them yet, I can only imagine that should I ever have dentures that the impulse to throw them at people will be incredibly strong at times.